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Writing During Lockdown

How are you all doing? It’s a difficult question at the moment, I know. Albert Einstein once said, “In the midst of every crisis, lies great opportunity,” and for creatives and writers around the globe, lockdown has given many of us the opportunity to claw back a little time and focus on what we truly love. This is easier said than done, however.

After spending most of March and April indulging in bad habits and embracing the hedonistic disorganisation that the potential of impending doom can bring, I decided to set myself some serious goals for May. It was the only way I was going to break out of the “fuck it – lets drink endless glasses of wine and watch movies, the world has gone to hell in a handbasket” mindset. Don’t get me wrong, I had kind of enjoyed it. Those who know me recognise that I am very laid back when it comes to everybody else. But when it comes to myself I am the quintessential control freak. Having a well-earned rest from this taxing personality trait for a while was kind of rewarding in its own way. The pre-lockdown me would never have been in pyjamas at 3pm, nursing last night’s hangover while slyly checking the clock to see if it might possibly be acceptable to open the wine again. Old me would not have let a couple of weeks of no writing pass by without having an internal meltdown at the fact that time was ticking and I still hadn’t published the best-selling novel that’s most definitely going to be adapted into film yet. Think about it – if I wasn’t so lazy I could have been schmoozing at the premier by now, right?!! Wrong, of course. Things will run their course and happen when the time is right. Having dreams and goals is a positive thing, naturally. But that positive turns into a negative when you use those dreams to berate yourself when you take a little break from the treadmill. And, goodness knows, when the pandemic hit we all needed a bit of a break.

So, on Sunday, May 3rd I was sat in my pyjamas, nursing yet another hangover and thinking about how nice it would be to get things back on track. Coincidentally, two of my friends on a group chat chose that day to make similar choices, deciding that May would be the month to ditch the take-aways, exercise regularly, and fit back into those old pre-lockdown pants. Without their messages that coincidentally fell on the same day, I don’t know if I would have set my goals and stuck to them. We decided to have a weekly check-in with each other, and to message if we felt we were having a wobble and were liable to reach for the sugar/alcohol/insert bad habit of your choice. Having a sounding board certainly made the tasks seem attainable, so I would definitely recommend asking a friend to virtually spot you if you wish to do something similar in the coming weeks.

Along with the general healthier lifestyle goal I chose a few writing targets. I am dreadful for having unfinished projects lying around the house in various digital and paper formats. I almost finish a book, having spent months obsessing over every character and plot arc, only to lose interest at the point of editing, ditch it and start something shiny and new. My novel writing process is the embodiment of the meme where the guy turns to look at a passer-by who is pretty much identical to the outraged girl already on his arm.

In order to jump-start my interest in old almost-finished projects, I had a nosey at the upcoming unsolicited submission calls. I selected two that fit a couple of my long-forgotten WIPs and spent some time polishing and refining them ready for the submission dates. As of today, I have a drama script waiting for perusal by Screencraft, and the first three chapters of a fantasy book in the pile of entries to an agency’s Young Adult fiction competition. These projects steer away from my usual horror writing, but they are still just as valid and exciting in their potential, and it was helpful to remind myself of that. Naturally, my main goal is to finish the first rough draft of my horror book by the end of May. For me, this means having every chapter complete in some form, even if some of them will need fleshing out or trimming down in the editing stage. I can spend the last two weeks of May scaring myself silly writing the last few chapters of the first draft, and I’m very much looking forward to it.

As for June, who knows? I might revert back into a pyjama-wearing, wine-guzzling layabout. But May has been a good month, and it’s all thanks to goal-setting with a couple of pals who’ve got my back. As we keep messaging each other on wobble days:

#wegotthis.

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Humour in Horror Writing

Well, you guys, it’s been a while. And how things have changed since I last uploaded a blog post. I hope you are all keeping safe and managing through these bizarre times.

Lockdown has given me invaluable time in front of the computer screen working on my horror novel. It got me to thinking about the relationship between humour and horror, and about how the two tend to meet. It’s a fine balance – make horror too funny and it seems silly and loses its tension. Make horror too serious and, for me, it loses an edge that a well-crafted story with elements of both will undoubtedly demonstrate.

Some of my writing heroes excel at this technique. The League of Gentlemen (Reece Shearsmith, Mark Gatiss, Steve Pemberton, and Jeremy Dyson), inspired me when I was a school kid. Their eponymous television show was like nothing I had ever seen before. Their skill at writing comedy immersed in horror, full of sympathetic characters and humanistic struggles, has stayed with me ever since. Pemberton and Shearsmith’s Inside No.9 continues to surprise me, a television experience that my husband pointed out is no mean feat! When chatting about the show to a work colleague, he stated, “It’s the only TV show that ever surprises MJ. Because she’s a writer, she always guesses what’s going to happen or what the twist in a show will be. With Inside No.9, she’s always just as surprised as the rest of us, so she actually gets to enjoy it!” I hadn’t thought about it until he pointed it out, but it’s so true!

And that’s what you can do with horror. Truly take people by surprise and thrill them, more than any other genre. It’s something that I am trying to focus on as I push on through this novel, working on balancing truly fiendish characters and events with personable humour and empathy. I am trying to learn from the masters – after all, I have been following them for about 25 years now.

The horror/humour balance can never be more topical than at a time of crisis. It’s important to laugh, even when the world around us seems to be falling apart. And it’s okay to find humour in the madness. In fact, there is nothing more human.

Stay safe my friends, and seek out a little humour where you can.

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October Writing

October was a pivotal month for my writing. As I mentioned in my last post, I decided to brand myself as a horror writer, focusing only on the horror genre and beginning work on a full-length horror novel. It makes sense, as most of my short stories have been published in horror anthologies, providing me with a spook-filled portfolio to approach prospective agents and publishers with when the time comes. Happy belated Halloween, by the way!

As of 5th October, it isn’t only short stories in my portfolio. I was over the moon to have the No Sleep Podcast pick up one of my shorts, Better Than Mardis Gras, and turn it into a segment on their incredible show. It features as the second story in Episode 16 of Season 13. Hearing three talented actors perform the story gave me goosebumps. It felt even better because this was a story that has faced rejection in the past. It reinforced the idea that you should never shelve something just because you get a few rejections. One day it may find a home, and a perfect one at that!

I have to admit, there was one glaring error in the story – a dreaded hanging adverb! There is no writing mistake that stands out more than an adverb at the end of a creepy sentence, read out by an actor, with atmospheric sound effects in the background, followed by a dramatic pause. Believe me, now I know. But hey, I cringed. I moved on. If I hadn’t have spotted that as a mistake, maybe I should worry (and yes, I wish I had spotted it before I submitted it!). But we live and learn – that’s what writing is all about. It’s a comfort to me to know that even though our work may not be as perfect as we’d like, we still get these chances to showcase and improve.

So, I’m chugging away at my horror novel. I’m not taking part in NaNoWriMo this year, but I’m enjoying seeing participant word counts growing on Insta! I’m currently on 20k and hoping to hit 30 by the end of November (definitely not enough to make the Nano grade!). Good luck to all of you who are participating. I can’t wait to hear about your successes.  

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The Shortlist Paradox

After making a succession of short story anthology submissions this summer, the inevitable rejections have begun to slink into my inbox. It is a part of every writer’s world, so I am not complaining about the process. However, this last couple of weeks has had me musing over whether being notified that you have been shortlisted, only to be informed of rejection in the final cut, could be worse than not hearing anything at all until the axe falls.

Every submission comes with a ‘dare to dream’ moment or two. If it didn’t there would be no motive to submit in the first place! I usually submit with suppressed hopes, then put the publication completely out of my mind until I hear either way. Otherwise I find myself daydreaming about the possibilities. About what I would do if I got a yes. What would I post on social media? How would I tell my friends and family? Then the flutter of desire kicks in, and the potential for disappointment grows.

I had this recently with the latest SNAFU publication, Last Stand. As I mentioned in a previous blog, this publication was the anthology equivalent of the Holy Grail for me, as it will be introduced by the director Tim Miller. Marvel are a huge fixture in my household, so the potential to be linked to anything involving the Deadpool director was a huge draw. I crafted the story as best as I could. I looked back at previous hints and tips that the editors had provided, keen to tick every possible personal preference box on their list. Then, I hit ‘send’, locked the hopes and dreams in a little box in my brain marked “Do not open”, and went about my business. Then I heard the news that the story had made it through the first round of shortlisting. Wow. That was a buzz. The flame of possibility grew. I dared to dream a little bit. I was honoured that they liked my story, and repeatedly rationalised that at this stage, even if it was a ‘no’ in the end, I could be proud that it made it so far.

To my absolute shock and delight, I made it through the next round of cuts. At the beginning of that week, I had seen on the publication’s Facebook page that the next refusals were imminent, and I was convinced I would be amongst them. But I wasn’t. Double-wow. Could it possibly be? I started to get really excited. I talked about it with my friends, which is something I wouldn’t normally do unless I’d actually made it into the book. I’m cagey about my writing at the best of times, having always had a fear of the old ‘pride comes before a fall’ warnings. But this time, it couldn’t hurt to talk about it. It was a huge deal after all, and I clung to the fact that it was something of an accolade that the story had made it so far.

Well, come the final round of cuts. And a rejection letter. Albeit a very positive, constructive rejection letter, but a rejection nontheless. Wow again. But this time, a crushing, “Wow, I really thought I might have had that, there. Damn.” This was the moment that I started thinking about shortlist emails. They are always a joy, don’t get me wrong. And there was a point in my writing career when I would have chopped a hand off just to get one (possibly a counter-productive move – don’t judge me, I was a neurotic, fledgling writer!). But that moment of daring to dream a little bigger…The moment the “Do not open” sign gets torn off the hidden box in my brain that shows me visions of what I might do if I got the news that I’d been accepted. The moment when I let my daydreams wander to potential future opportunities that a yes decision may have brought. That kicks in as soon as the shortlist email comes in my inbox.

And, you know what? In the end, they ARE a good thing. Because it is that little boost that verifies that we’re on the right path. It’s the feedback from almost making the cut and being told exactly why we didn’t in the end that makes us better writers. That makes the next story an improvement on the last. It’s the step towards the next acceptance, because we’re always learning. The shortlist email, even if it makes the rejection a little more disappointing in the end, reminds us of why we do this. The rush. The thrill of the chase. The potential for that elusive ‘yes’.

So thank you to those editors who take the time to let us know when we’re through to the next round. And to those who let us down gently with constructive words when we don’t quite make the cut. We need thick skin in this industry, and at certain times for whatever reason, it’s not easy to remain positive. The shortlist reminds us that we’re almost there. Even if it’s a harder fall.

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News of all kinds

I haven’t posted for a couple of weeks. The day after I wrote my last post, where the dog and I had taken a trip to the orchard and it had inspired me to write a poem, Shadow collapsed and had to be put to sleep. It has been strange here ever since. If I could describe how we were with each other, I’d say that when we were together we would constantly look to each other. When we were apart, I would constantly look forward to seeing him. He was just a constant. To not have that now is the hardest thing, because there are habits that grow with love that you don’t even know are there. Each time I face a new automatic habit and then remind myself that he isn’t there it’s heartbreaking. But, looking back at our photos and videos together, I know he was happy right to the end, and that is the most reassuring thing of all. He was a rescue dog, and taking him from the shelter five years ago was the best thing I ever did. I would encourage anyone who is considering getting a pet to please go to your local rescue shelter first and foremost. We couldn’t have had a better fit in our lives, even if we’d raised him ourselves.

In terms of writing, I have never been the type of writer who thrives in dark times. In fact, my muse tends to dry up completely. It was a huge effort to complete the poem, ‘The Tree That Ate the Children’, the week after Shaddy passed, and I managed to just meet the deadline for submission. I don’t know if it’s any good, but it was finished and submitted, and that was enough that week. I’m pleased to say I managed to write yesterday. There are a number of exciting horror submission calls for the end of July/start of August, and I really hope I can come up with some good gory tales!

One word of warning that I learned myself this week – final deadline dates don’t always stay the same. I’ve known them to be pushed to a later date before, but never cut off a few weeks early due to popularity! This has happened with Dragon’s Roost’s ‘Monsters in Space’ anthology. It was such a great brief and I am happy to hear that they have had a successful submission response. But I am definitely sad that I didn’t get a shot at taking part! Still, it has taught me a new writing lesson, which I’ll try to bear in mind in future: Submit early if you can. I always tend to plan my submissions based on final date. I really need to revise that method in future!

Finally, the truly wonderful news this week. I submitted to SNAFU’s Last Stand sub call last month, after reading the brief and falling in love with the concept. The fact that Tim Miller is providing the introduction really is the icing on the cake. To appear in the anthology that features the director of Deadpool would truly be a life-affirming moment in my writing. Not to mention the fact that my hubby rocks around in a Deadpool dressing gown in the evenings, and that we used to have a hamster called D-Piddy in honour of the merc with a mouth. Tim Miller aside, the anthology itself looks to be incredibly special, not surprising since it’s coming from Cohesion Press. On Saturday I received an email saying my story had made it to final deliberations! After such a difficult couple of weeks this news was well received to say the least. I don’t know if I’ll make the final cut, obviously, but it is a huge boost to know the dream is in touching distance. Here’s to dreams coming true, even in the worst weeks!

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June Goals

June was a fun writing month for me. I took on an extra day of work in my day job, so I knew I had to shake up my writing habits if I was going to keep any kind of momentum. I think it was the unexpected jolt I needed, in all honestly. I’ve been feeling a bit stagnant recently, experiencing days where I had free hours stretching ahead of me – a perfect day for a writing spree. But I just didn’t have the motivation to create anything new. I would wake up with the best intentions, only to find that three YouTube Unexplained Mystery videos, lunch out, a movie, and a long hot bubble bath later, that it was time for bed and I hadn’t managed to write a word! Having the extra day away from my computer really made me value the time I did have with my imaginary worlds. I missed them, as I knew I would, because I didn’t have the option anymore.

It just so happened to fall that a number of open short story calls were coming to a close on 30th June. With my restricted free time and a looming deadline, I actually managed to get my butt in gear and create four new stories to suit the submission requests. I was inspired by the themes, and I was thrilled to see so many fantastic horror opportunities this month! Horror inspires me like no other genre, so I thoroughly enjoyed planning, creating, and writing my attempts.

That said, I’m pretty sure three out of the four don’t stand much of a chance. There is one that I’m keeping a quiet hope burning for, but we shall see. Even if none of them get selected this time around, that’s four new stories that might be suitable for other placements later in the year, on weeks where I really don’t feel like writing, so it still feels like an accomplished month.

July is going to be all about the second edit of my full-length work in progress. I’ve got a number of chapter insertions to make, a timeline to perfect, and I’m sure a few plot-holes to iron out! I had a fantastic night out with my girlfriends on Saturday, which absolutely blew the cobwebs off! I’m still recovering from it, I have to admit, but it was a lot of fun letting our hair down, sinking a few wines, and having a good old girly catch up. For me, the night out heralded the end of my June goals. I gave them a good solid crack, and I guess it remains to be seen how successful the month’s work will be in terms of publication. But no matter what the outcome, I gave it my best shot. That’s all we writers can do! And, as I said on Saturday night, “I’ll drink to that!”

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Almost, little story. Almost…

Years ago I wrote a short story that was completely removed from my preferred genres. It is called The Altruists, and is a dark dystopian tale about an innocent man who is imprisoned in a futuristic world where prisoners are used as automatic organ donors. I can’t remember if I wrote it for a particular submission call, it was that long ago. But it didn’t make the cut. And whenever I have tried to submit it since my efforts have been met with multiple short, stark, stock-rejection emails!

When I first started taking the plunge and submitting my writing, I was terribly embarrassed to receive a rejection. I can remember feeling a sensation of shame, and saying to myself, ‘Who do you think you are, of course it’s rubbish! Why did you even send it in the first place? Just delete it, it must be crap.’ I gave up on my stories at the first sign of a struggle. It was a reaction that was born of insecurity, and I am happy to report that over the years I have built better resilience to the process! If I hadn’t, I don’t believe I would still be writing now. Or perhaps I’d still be writing, but only for myself. A private little collection of lonely stories desperate to be shared.

A couple of weeks ago I saw a submission call for Apparition Literary Magazine, asking for stories on the theme of ‘Retribution’. I didn’t have the time to write something from scratch as the deadline was nearing, so I dug out The Altruists, tweaked a few of the clunkier sounding sentences, and sent it to them. Needless to say, I didn’t expect it to get anywhere. A few days later I received a lovely email from the team, asking if they could place my story on hold for the final publication. The rush of elation I felt was indescribable. It always feels amazing when a story is shown some interest, but for The Altruists, a story that has always been biting at the heels of its flashy horror-themed friends in my writing folder, I felt like a proud mum. Finally, here was proof that the story wasn’t completely dreadful!

Yesterday, I heard back from the editors, who explained that they only had four open slots and that The Altruists hadn’t quite made it to the final cut, but that it was one of the ten stories that were scrutinised by the editors for publication. Well, I will take that! Considering the fact that a few years ago I almost hit the delete key and erased it from the map completely, I take that as a solid victory.

I’ve talked before about how numerous factors can determine whether your story is picked. Even if it is rejected twenty times, it doesn’t mean that it is terrible. It just needs to be the right fit. There are so many boxes that a story must check in order to make the selection. Being a good story is just the tip of the iceberg! So, when stories are rejected, don’t ever think they are terrible and that you shouldn’t try again. The next place you send it to could very well become its ‘forever home’. And that really is the greatest feeling in the world.  

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Summer Submissions

I am loving the variety of submission call themes that have been released this summer! As usual, signing up to the Author’s Publish newsletter has been invaluable, and I’ve got a few publications on my list that I’m hoping to sway!

Cohesion Press/SNAFU are looking for military or mercenary stories on the theme of The Last Stand. This publication is a huge draw for me as the introduction will be written by Tim Miller, director of Deadpool, new Terminator & Love, Death & Robots. Now, I am coming from a Marvel obsessed household. As I write, there are about twenty Pop Vinyl’s staring back at me, and I have a giant X-Men print on the wall behind my head. My husband rocks around in a Deadpool dressing gown every night, so you can imagine what a huge deal it would be to make it to final selection. Needless to say, I am working hard on this submission!

I have enjoyed writing a story for Michael A. Ventrella & Randee Dawn’s Across the Universe alternative Beatles fiction compilation. They are looking for Beatles ‘What If…’ submissions, and judging by the information they have offered up already, it should be set to be an extremely fun read. I went through a mad Beatles phase when I was a child, so I am keeping my fingers crossed that my What If tale is good enough to make the final cut. I am slightly concerned that my laptop seems to despise converting to rtf. and it alters all of the layout formatting upon sending, which may hinder my efforts. But, fingers crossed! All we can do is try, sheepishly explain, and try again…(welcome to my morning).

Another upcoming submission is for the Jolly Horror Accursed object anthology. This is right up my street, and I’m just putting the finishing touches to a nasty little tale featuring a bunch of pranksters. I am a sucker for gruesome horror, so giving this one a try has made me smile this week!

I also have a new mantra, with my upcoming WIP amendments and huge edits in mind. It’s Not Everest! We’ve got this, you guys.

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The Writing Community

I’m pretty late to the party when it comes to social media. I joined Instagram last year, and only seriously considered Twitter the year before that. I have to say, I have been missing out! I absolutely love the writing community that I have connected with through both accounts, and I can’t wait to meet other like-minded people in 2019.

On Sunday, I finally submitted my entry to this year’s BBC Writers Room open script call. I have been working on the script as a side project for some time, having randomly come up with an idea for a TV drama. This was hugely out of my comfort zone. I usually write short stories, occasionally working on full-length manuscripts (often abandoning the project when the editing gets out of hand!), so a script was something I had never attempted before. I had been planning to work on finalising the formatting over Christmas. Then, disaster struck! The WiFi at my house went down on Christmas Eve, meaning there were no engineers available to fix it. In a way, it was a blessing in disguise. I vowed to totally relax in that week, and be ready to smash the final draft out of the park when the internet sprang to life the following week. I’d set aside Saturday and Sunday to work (planning on filling endless pots of tea to keep my bum firmly in my seat!). Only, the internet cut out again on Friday night. I pretty much lost my mind, I am ashamed to admit. Knowing that the deadline was Monday, and that my plans had gone out of the window, I gave the poor bloke on the phone at EE an extremely hard time. I apologised profusely afterwards, but I have never experienced ‘the red mist’ in that way before! Step between a writer and their deadline, and good luck to you, I guess! Long story short, the (very frightened-looking) engineer arrived first thing on Saturday morning, and by 10.30am I was sat with my pot of tea, scrutinising my formatting and feeling tentatively optimistic.

I guess it must have been the stress of the internet going down. Maybe it was just the fact that I am not used to submitting scripts. Or perhaps it was the terrifying prospect of sending my work to somewhere as iconic as the BBC. But, on Sunday, after I’d pressed ‘Submit’ and received my auto-receipt in my inbox, I had a complete writer’s meltdown. I specify it as being a writer’s meltdown, because they really are like no other, aren’t they?! I had an absolute crisis of confidence. A glass of wine helped. So did the second. But by the third glass I was still plagued with self-doubt and feeling utterly defeated.

So, I posted an update to the writing community on Instagram. Within the hour I had numerous messages from total strangers, congratulating me for submitting and wishing me luck. Because of their kind words and the sense of camaraderie it gave me, I began to feel better (a little bit drunk, I have to admit, but much, much better!). It truly is a community of writers, whether you’re on Twitter, Insta, or here on WordPress. I am so happy I have finally caught up, and experienced it first hand. You are all absolute superstars, and I am thrilled that we are in it together.