Tag: lockdown

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Dumb things to do during lockdown

mjmarsauthor

I don’t know about you, but lockdown has really made me wish I’d done more with my life. And I’m not talking about writing (it goes without saying – I ALWAYS wish I’d done more there), but dumb little things that have always bugged me. Things that I should have learned when I was a kid, but never got around to doing. Or, more likely, was too self-conscious back then to really stick at it and learn.

It started back in June, when a couple of my friends decided to set health related goals for the month. We pored over running medal sites and signed up to challenges, stuck Yoga with Adriene on three times a week, and happily accepted the 25 press-ups for 25 day Facebook challenges. Then July hit and I chose something a little different…

The Keepie-uppie challenge

I’ve always been jealous of people who can churn out endless keepie-uppies (a quick explanation, in case you need it – keepie-ups is juggling a football with your feet). I was a tom-boy as a kid, but my crippling social embarrassment prevented me from ever learning anything remotely tricky and physical. I always had the mindset that if I couldn’t do it within three tries, I was embarrassing and useless and should forget the whole thing. So, I decided that my July challenge was going to be learn how to keepie-up, finishing the month with masterful round-the-worlds and catching the ball on the back of my neck. Simple, right?

Oh holy fuck, I was so, so wrong. Out of everything I’ve done in the last couple of months – scratch that – my entire life, keepie-uppies are without doubt the hardest; not to mention my August challenge was to learn to skateboard to ollie (more on that later…). I got off to a rough start with the football, I have to say. I ordered a training strap and a ball (allegedly) from Amazon at the start of July. Only, I didn’t read the fine print and all that came was the strap. Pretty useless without a ball, my friends. Then, I had to wait three weeks for the ball to be delivered. And when it arrived it was flat, of course. Guess who didn’t have a pump?! So, as you can see, the universe did not want me to learn how to juggle a football in July 2020. But that didn’t matter, did it? Surely I only needed a week of practice to get a stupid ball to pop from one foot to the other? My God. Long story short, it’s the end of August, so I’ve been practising hard for about five weeks now. This week I managed to juggle three in a row, and have managed to go from foot to foot a handful of times. It took me two weeks to manage to get my foot in the right position so the ball didn’t just trickle away. In my defence, I only have size 3 feet, so I’m sure that doesn’t help, right? Anyway, when it came time to announce August goals I was feeling pretty disheartened. But, in the spirit of overcoming childhood insecurities and learning the things I’d always wanted to pick up as a kid, I set my challenge and bought my gear…

Skate to ollie

Okay, so this was ambitious. But, I’ve always loved skateboarding. I’ve played hours of the Tony Hawk games, watched endless X-Games and Tampa Pro clips, and daydreamed about skating down the boardwalk at Venice Beach. I should have picked up a board as a kid and just gone for it, but again my stupid brain decided falling was too embarrassing and so I never stuck with it. August came and I ordered my pads and helmet. Got a nifty little TH Pro board and some new DC skate shoes. I was ready.

You know what, it’s been going pretty well! I managed to get the basic skate down quicker than I expected, and moved on to kickturns. That ended pretty messily when I didn’t realise my elbow pad had ridden up, as you can see in the pic, but hey – it’s all part of the skate process. Last week we went out and learned ollies in the grass and a slow-mo video proved that I managed to lift all four wheels up on my last few ollies. Haven’t taken it to the pavement yet, and I’m not exactly hurtling into the SLS 9 club, but I’ve got the steps down at least. So yeah, for me, skateboarding is easier than juggling a frickin’ football. Slightly more bloody and painful, but hey, it goes with the territory.

A qualification in…monsters?!

That’s right, my friends. I now have a Cryptozoology Diploma. I have loved all things monster since I was a kid. I’ve trekked to Loch Ness (a twelve-hour round trip on a raging hangover), I’ve got Bob Gimlin’s autograph, I have a wall of sea monster maps and monster pics, and shelves full of books on the subject. And now, bringing my level of nerd to soaring heights, I have my diploma.

It’s not that I believe that all monsters are real. I get the science, and I know the chances are pretty slim. I think the reason I love the idea of real monsters so much is that it gives me that rush that I had as a kid, thinking about Santa coming. I remember staring out of my bedroom window, watching the rooftops for reindeer and wishing harder than I’ve ever wished for anything that I could see him. Sadly, I didn’t get that feeling for long – I found out about Santa on Christmas day when I was six years old. (Full disclosure, I snuck a look at the presents my mum was keeping in her wardrobe and when I opened the one I’d looked at on Christmas morning, it was labelled “From Santa”. Talk about instant karma). I think I’ve been chasing the high ever since then. But that is certainly another dumb thing I’ve done in lockdown. It makes me laugh just looking at it. But, it’s mine and I stand by it.

Other than that, my goals have been writing related, so they can’t really fall into the ‘dumb’ category. I’ve finished the first draft of The Suffering, and started first edit (bring alcohol). I recorded a reading of one of my stories for the Horrorgasm Convention, so I’m hoping that will get accepted and go live in October. Now that The Suffering first draft is finished as of last week I’ve started sending shorts out again and have already sold to The Dread Machine, so that’s a really nice boost after so long without submitting.

Long story short, I recommend a bit of goal-setting, particularly if it involves learning something you always wanted to know, but never got around to for whatever reason. I guess with learning footy and skate, I’m sticking a big two fingers up at my old insecurities, and proving to myself that I can do it. It’s never too late. It’s almost time to set our September goals. I guess I always wanted to learn a really cool magic trick…what do you think?!

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Writing During Lockdown

mjmarsauthor

How are you all doing? It’s a difficult question at the moment, I know. Albert Einstein once said, “In the midst of every crisis, lies great opportunity,” and for creatives and writers around the globe, lockdown has given many of us the opportunity to claw back a little time and focus on what we truly love. This is easier said than done, however.

After spending most of March and April indulging in bad habits and embracing the hedonistic disorganisation that the potential of impending doom can bring, I decided to set myself some serious goals for May. It was the only way I was going to break out of the “fuck it – lets drink endless glasses of wine and watch movies, the world has gone to hell in a handbasket” mindset. Don’t get me wrong, I had kind of enjoyed it. Those who know me recognise that I am very laid back when it comes to everybody else. But when it comes to myself I am the quintessential control freak. Having a well-earned rest from this taxing personality trait for a while was kind of rewarding in its own way. The pre-lockdown me would never have been in pyjamas at 3pm, nursing last night’s hangover while slyly checking the clock to see if it might possibly be acceptable to open the wine again. Old me would not have let a couple of weeks of no writing pass by without having an internal meltdown at the fact that time was ticking and I still hadn’t published the best-selling novel that’s most definitely going to be adapted into film yet. Think about it – if I wasn’t so lazy I could have been schmoozing at the premier by now, right?!! Wrong, of course. Things will run their course and happen when the time is right. Having dreams and goals is a positive thing, naturally. But that positive turns into a negative when you use those dreams to berate yourself when you take a little break from the treadmill. And, goodness knows, when the pandemic hit we all needed a bit of a break.

So, on Sunday, May 3rd I was sat in my pyjamas, nursing yet another hangover and thinking about how nice it would be to get things back on track. Coincidentally, two of my friends on a group chat chose that day to make similar choices, deciding that May would be the month to ditch the take-aways, exercise regularly, and fit back into those old pre-lockdown pants. Without their messages that coincidentally fell on the same day, I don’t know if I would have set my goals and stuck to them. We decided to have a weekly check-in with each other, and to message if we felt we were having a wobble and were liable to reach for the sugar/alcohol/insert bad habit of your choice. Having a sounding board certainly made the tasks seem attainable, so I would definitely recommend asking a friend to virtually spot you if you wish to do something similar in the coming weeks.

Along with the general healthier lifestyle goal I chose a few writing targets. I am dreadful for having unfinished projects lying around the house in various digital and paper formats. I almost finish a book, having spent months obsessing over every character and plot arc, only to lose interest at the point of editing, ditch it and start something shiny and new. My novel writing process is the embodiment of the meme where the guy turns to look at a passer-by who is pretty much identical to the outraged girl already on his arm.

In order to jump-start my interest in old almost-finished projects, I had a nosey at the upcoming unsolicited submission calls. I selected two that fit a couple of my long-forgotten WIPs and spent some time polishing and refining them ready for the submission dates. As of today, I have a drama script waiting for perusal by Screencraft, and the first three chapters of a fantasy book in the pile of entries to an agency’s Young Adult fiction competition. These projects steer away from my usual horror writing, but they are still just as valid and exciting in their potential, and it was helpful to remind myself of that. Naturally, my main goal is to finish the first rough draft of my horror book by the end of May. For me, this means having every chapter complete in some form, even if some of them will need fleshing out or trimming down in the editing stage. I can spend the last two weeks of May scaring myself silly writing the last few chapters of the first draft, and I’m very much looking forward to it.

As for June, who knows? I might revert back into a pyjama-wearing, wine-guzzling layabout. But May has been a good month, and it’s all thanks to goal-setting with a couple of pals who’ve got my back. As we keep messaging each other on wobble days:

#wegotthis.

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Humour in Horror Writing

mjmarsauthor

Well, you guys, it’s been a while. And how things have changed since I last uploaded a blog post. I hope you are all keeping safe and managing through these bizarre times.

Lockdown has given me invaluable time in front of the computer screen working on my horror novel. It got me to thinking about the relationship between humour and horror, and about how the two tend to meet. It’s a fine balance – make horror too funny and it seems silly and loses its tension. Make horror too serious and, for me, it loses an edge that a well-crafted story with elements of both will undoubtedly demonstrate.

Some of my writing heroes excel at this technique. The League of Gentlemen (Reece Shearsmith, Mark Gatiss, Steve Pemberton, and Jeremy Dyson), inspired me when I was a school kid. Their eponymous television show was like nothing I had ever seen before. Their skill at writing comedy immersed in horror, full of sympathetic characters and humanistic struggles, has stayed with me ever since. Pemberton and Shearsmith’s Inside No.9 continues to surprise me, a television experience that my husband pointed out is no mean feat! When chatting about the show to a work colleague, he stated, “It’s the only TV show that ever surprises MJ. Because she’s a writer, she always guesses what’s going to happen or what the twist in a show will be. With Inside No.9, she’s always just as surprised as the rest of us, so she actually gets to enjoy it!” I hadn’t thought about it until he pointed it out, but it’s so true!

And that’s what you can do with horror. Truly take people by surprise and thrill them, more than any other genre. It’s something that I am trying to focus on as I push on through this novel, working on balancing truly fiendish characters and events with personable humour and empathy. I am trying to learn from the masters – after all, I have been following them for about 25 years now.

The horror/humour balance can never be more topical than at a time of crisis. It’s important to laugh, even when the world around us seems to be falling apart. And it’s okay to find humour in the madness. In fact, there is nothing more human.

Stay safe my friends, and seek out a little humour where you can.