From Rejection to Publication

Scrolling back through my old blog posts, I stop at one and check the date. 18th February, 2022. Just over a year ago, now. The post is called “Reigniting the Spark”, and it laments the fact that I have struggled with motivation to write, particularly since finishing The Suffering and entered into the query phase. I’d been submitting queries for months at that point, and was disheartened to say the least.

A snippet from “Reigniting the Spark”

Although I felt bad that I hadn’t been writing anything new, I rationalised that it could be the universe’s way of telling me not to flit from project to project the way I usually did. To really see out the process and focus on getting The Suffering to as many agents and publishers as possible. And, boy, was I trying! As most of you who have gone through the querying phase know, it’s a bleak process. You submit with high hopes, silencing the voice of doubt by convincing yourself that you “have a good feeling about this one!” only for the inevitable rejection to come back a few weeks later.

When Wicked House Publishing opened its doors last year, I was pretty much at the end of my rope with The Suffering. Perhaps it wasn’t as good as I hoped it was. In fact, perhaps it was terrible! A book that nobody would ever want, and—worse—that nobody would ever get to read. I felt as though I must have been completely deluded when I closed my laptop after the final edit and declared with confidence, “I think this is pretty good!”

I remember when I saw the call-out for Wicked House submissions. It was a Sunday, and I was in the middle of a regular bout of burnout that made me stop to consider whether I could be bothered heading to my laptop to make the query attempt. I was feeling quite down-and-out, and more than a little hopeless about the whole thing. But, something made me haul my ass off the couch and spend the afternoon at the kitchen table, preparing my query and making sure my synopsis and opening chapters were as good as they’d ever been. I hit the submit button. By that point, I was way past “I have a good feeling about this one!” and instead prepared myself for rejection.

But it never came. A full manuscript request was sent instead. And, a few months later, an offer of publication.

Now, just over a year from posting a disheartened blog about fighting for motivation, I’m holding The Suffering in my hands. It’s being read around the world, and many of the reviews have been more positive than I could have ever dreamed.

Thank you to my lovely Mum for the champagne in celebration!

It would have been so easy for me to give up on The Suffering after receiving months of rejections. It’s hard, and if you’re experiencing something similar with your manuscript at the moment, I feel for you and send you virtual hugs and strength. Self-belief can only be sustained so long when multiple professionals in the business are telling you they don’t want your book. But here’s the proof that it only takes that one lucky shot. Never stop fighting for it. Haul your ass off the couch and make that submission!

Because one day it will be for the last time. And for all the right reasons.

Death in the Deep

After finally getting over the hazy funk of completing The Suffering, it was time for me to start submitting short stories again. I was over the moon when my first 2022 submission was accepted by Dead Sea Press, and was published last week in the third volume of The Dead Seas series.

This publication is awesome because, not only is it crammed full of fantastic maritime horror fiction, it also raises money for The Shark Trust. I’ve always loved sharks, and so it’s a cause that is really close to my heart. It has made the publication even more special.

One of the first stories I ever had published was in a charity book called Writers for Animals, and my tale was about a little girl trying to help a Moon Bear to escape the bile trade. Even though that was years ago now (before I had my pen name and exclusively started writing horror), there is something very special about it. Being published is the greatest feeling in the world, but if you can raise money for a good cause while you’re doing it, it’s even better.

So, please head on over to Dead Sea Press and pick up your copy of Death in the Deep. You can get the Kindle version for peanuts on Amazon (every little bit helps the cause!), or go even further and get the beautiful paperback. If you’re a fan of horror shorts, why not go ahead and grab volumes 1 and 2 while you’re at it! Terror in the Trench and Shadows Beneath the Surface are crammed full of awesome stories to keep you away from the water this summer.

Both me and the sharkies are grateful!

Querying in the ‘Dead Month’

Making mistakes is all part of the process. In every walk of life. And it’s just been brought to my attention that I started querying The Suffering at the worst possible time. In the world of literary agencies, August is dubbed “The Dead Month”. It’s a month where nothing gets picked up. Where the few foolhardy authors who don’t know about this are likely to immediately hit the deleted pile, where their hopeful submission will be lost in the ether.

I didn’t take this into consideration when I sent my query emails to my first three choices in August, but that’s how the chips have fallen. I was so happy to have finally finished the book, I didn’t even stop to consider whether the time of year might be a factor. Was that stupid? Is this something everyone knows, except me?! I mean, when you’re going through the process of writing a manuscript, there are so many industry secrets and hints to learn, some things get left by the wayside. This just happens to be a potential biggie.

But hey, you never know, perhaps one of the agents I submitted to likes to work in August, when it’s quiet? Perhaps it’s a benefit that every other writer except me knows not to query in August, because there’s bound to have been less competition, right? I’ll keep telling myself that to feel better about it.

Plus, I can console myself that perhaps my top choice agents would have loved my submission…if only I’d sent it during a month when they actively review queries. That if I hear nothing back from them it’s simply that it slipped through the August cracks, and isn’t a reflection on how successful The Suffering might be…

I’m smiling as I write this, because it is so typical of how things work out. And I’m constantly trying to put a positive spin on any negatives in the process and prevent my nagging brain from convincing me that this is a dumb endeavour that will get me nowhere. Because that’s not how we roll around here. We have to keep pushing to make our dream a reality.

When people say, “If you don’t believe in yourself, how will anyone else believe in you?” it makes me cringe inside because my internal monologue is a savage. It berates me on the regular, especially when it comes to writing. When we make these stupid mistakes that add extra fuel to the fire of the internal monster inside us, we have to find a way to shake it off and continue. So I’m laughing about it. I fucked up, potentially, but it’s okay.

There are plenty more submissions to come. And hey, it’s September now, you guys! This month, there’s a good chance someone’s actually gonna read it…

Which part isn’t the hard part?!

I haven’t posted on here for almost a year now, a fact that has kind of been weighing on me (and my auntie Elaine, who keeps reminding me – hey Elaine!!). But I completely threw myself into finishing The Suffering ready for querying, so that’s what took up all of my free time. I didn’t have anything else to say. But now the book is complete, the querying has begun, and I can breathe a big sigh of relief at having some time to do other things.

I checked the properties when I finished the wip and couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw I’d spent 2,300+ hours on writing, editing, editing, editing a little more…and just a smidge more editing. It seems like a ridiculous number. A huge mistake. If someone had asked me how long it had taken me to write it I might have shrugged and took a stab, “I dunno…a hundred hours, maybe?” – feeling like an overly-dramatic sensationalist at that.

So this is why I felt like I never had time for other things (or…ahem…people). This is why every time I tried to relax and play games or watch a movie I had an annoying voice in the back of my mind reminding me that I had far more important things that needed to be done. And once I’d finally drawn the line and decided that I had to quit the endless editing process for fear of removing any ounce of my own personal writing style, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off me.

I’ve taken a few of weeks away from writing after sending the book out to my first and second agency choices, and the break has been fun. It’s strange not to have characters and scenes jostling for brain-space at all times of the day. My baths have been spent relaxing in bubbles, not leaping out and pattering wet footprints down the stairs in search of a notebook halfway through when an idea pops into my head. On my walks down the local quay I can now stick a headphone in and listen to music, not having to worry about drowning out a potential plot twist or character arc that may come to mind.

I’m starting to feel the urge to write again, returning to the Calls for Submissions pages and contemplating new horror short anthologies. I’ve missed the rush of writing to a set theme and waiting to hear if my story might just be good enough to make it in. That too went on the back-burner, and for the last year I haven’t submitted a single short. I’m excited to see what’s to come.

But I’m also feeling the anxious little pangs every time I check my writer’s email. The dread of the upcoming rejections by my prospective list of dream agents. It’s part of the process, of course. I don’t think there’s been a writer in history who was snapped up on their first attempt at representation (well, perhaps there have been a lucky few, but I’m positive it’s a rare occurrence).

So, writing the book was hard. Being away from all of my old favourite additional activities, writing-related or otherwise, was a bind. But it’s done with, at least for now. At least until that magical offer of a 3-book deal comes sliding into my emails. Until then, I’m going to enjoy my little blog posts (when I can actually think of something to say!). I’ll get excited about sending out various shorts and writing to set anthology themes in the hope they get accepted.

But, if that deal does come about I’ll be dropping everything again in a heartbeat! Another 2,300 hours to write a sequel – count me in! It’s a crazy dream. It’s almost impossible to find time. It’s ALL the hard part. But it’s worth every second. All 8280000 of them.

True Crime Writing

One of the January submissions I had hoped to submit to was Mango Publishing Group’s Small Towns True Crime anthology. I’ve always been interested in true crime, and was drawn to the fact that the publishers wanted their contributors to select a little known local crime to be the focus of the submission.

I live in Lancaster, UK, and while we have many infamous historical tales to tell (the Pendle Witches were held and tried at the castle at the top of my hill, for one), the crime that I hoped to focus on for my submission piece was the 1866 murder of Elizabeth Nelson. There is a plaque in honour of Elizabeth on the grounds of the university stating that she ‘died in defence of her chastity’. Elizabeth’s murderer was never caught, and a local rumour may shed light on the sinister reason.

Before I explain more about Elizabeth’s death, I should disclose that I never did manage to submit (the deadline was January 31st). I soon realised that I needed to give far more time to researching Elizabeth’s life and death than I could offer the project, and made the decision to shelve it before I began. I was inspired by YouTuber Shauna Rae, whose channel I stumbled upon while falling down the rabbit hole that is Brandon Lawson’s disappearance. Since watching her measured, articulate, and considerate report on Brandon’s case, I have become a huge fan of her channel.

I immediately respected Shauna’s meticulous timelines, her careful representation of the human behind the victim, and her scrutinisation of all potential suspects with care and compassion for victims, potential criminals, and family members. I realised that I would not have time to give Elizabeth the case report that she deserved with only a month to go until deadline. And I also realised that there may be far more to her case than the details that were reported. Shauna often states in her videos that she gives greater weight to facts stated by locals of the area where the crime was committed than to those that are reported by the press. And there is historically a good reason for that.

Elizabeth was found beaten to death. When the police arrived at the scene, they reported that they believed she had suffered a seizure and immediately had her body taken to a public house up the road to be carefully washed, removing any evidence that might have remained on her body. Local legend has it that Elizabeth was found with a police button in her hand. I would love to research more about this. Why would a woman who had died ‘in defence of her chastity’ and was found covered in bruises have been assumed to have had a fit? Why is it only local word of mouth and not the newspapers that ever spoke of the button found in her hand? And surely the police records would have shown which officers had to order a replacement button for their uniform? Of course, the button is only a rumour, and the police may have had nothing to do with this long-cold case…

I’m glad I made the decision to cross the submission from my diary and not rush through the available facts to cobble an article together for submission. That just wouldn’t be right. But one day I hope to set aside the appropriate amount of time to shed some light on Elizabeth’s story, and perhaps unearth some long-forgotten secrets that are only whispered about in Lancaster’s old cobbled streets. Victims should never be forgotten. And as writers it is our job to present the truth, no matter how much time has passed.

A More Organised Writer…?

Did you guys make any writing related New Year’s Resolutions? We’re almost a month in to 2020, so how have you been getting on?

This year, I chose to focus on streamlining my writing process with a view to keeping my stress-levels low and my productivity high. So far, it seems to be working. I filled a diary with upcoming submission calls for short stories, and the two that stood out with deadlines at the end of January are almost complete. Having the diary has helped me to focus my attention on where it is needed, instead of constantly having ideas floating around my head without any order!

In between submission calls, I’m looking at working more methodically on my novels and full-length scripts. There are a couple of works that require some editing or plot-development before I can take them any further, so I’m blocking out time in between deadlines to work on those. When I have them mapped into my diary, I can forget all about them in the meantime, which is definitely preventing me from panicking or experiencing plot overload!

In terms of my horror novel, I am still plot mapping at the moment. I’ve drafted a few of the key chapters, but want to make sure I have the full structure worked out before I take it any further. I’ve been working to the Save the Cat plotting method which was developed by Blake Snyder, and found that his structure pretty much fit my basic plot plan for this particular work in progress. Having the template in front of me is helping me to focus my ideas and stick to the most important elements of the story. I was pleased to find that I was on the right track according to Snyders development plan, and so it was surprisingly positive to shift from being a complete pantser to a plotter! I’m going to book a solid week or two off work later in the year to finalise the finished draft. Knowing that I’ll have that time in a few months to worry about the finer details is helping me to take a steadier pace this time around. I am training myself to stop charging through the process, and I have to say I am enjoying the change of tack.

I hope that if you made any writing resolutions that they are working out well for you so far. If you did but haven’t been able to utilise them for whatever reason, I hope it’s given you a helpful insight into what may work for you in the future. If you hate making resolutions and already had a positive writing structure going for you, then long may it continue into 2020! And, finally, if you hate making resolutions but still don’t have a writing schedule that works for you, don’t give up on yourself. It will come in time.

Wishing all my fellow writers a positive and productive year ahead.

Who’s afraid of the big bad edits?

A few weeks ago I received a rejection email with a twist. On this occasion I was fortunate enough to have the editor come back to me with my story marked, suggesting that if I make some changes he would reconsider the submission. I was blown away by this opportunity, as I know how rare it is to get a second chance when it comes to submissions!

I went back to him asking for a latest date that he would expect me to return the altered manuscript, stating that I knew that this was no guarantee that I would make it into the anthology even after the edits, and thanking him for the opportunity to try again. He then wrote back to me thanking me for my response to his suggestions, stating that not all writers take the offer of edits quite so well.

This struck me as crazy! Here was a professional, who whilst considering my story had made edits in track changes, without me paying him a thing, and had offered me a second chance at publication if only I follow his advice. For a story that I wrote for his anthology. Who in their right mind wouldn’t snap his hand off, I wondered?! I mean, I know that your own writing is precious, and that having someone turn around asking for changes is like someone saying your baby would be cute if only it had brown eyes and curly hair. But I know I would have had to have paid a fortune sending it off to an editing company for the same pleasure. And his suggestions were completely valid: There was too much description before the action began. There were too many characters for a short story, and some of them had to go. I did need to ramp up the connection between the two main characters, and – damnit – the ending would be better if the narrator actually made it to safety!!

So I sat down to work through the changes, taking each point and scrutinising how to make the edits successful without losing my voice and my original intentions. Sometimes it’s difficult to take criticism, but thankfully this editor made both positive and negative comments with a considered, encouraging tone. I’ve received other edits by more brutal readers in the past, and this was a cake-walk in terms of bruised ego aftereffects! I was dreading making the edits, because I do hate editing. But this was kind of a fun experience, much to my surprise. I learned more from his suggestions that I ever have from courses or classes. I am grateful to him, and glad I learned a while ago to keep an open mind and listen to the experts (probably the most difficult but most important step in my writing career).

All I can say is, no matter how much it hurts, if someone offers you the chance to make edits to improve your story to their publishing standard, don’t let your pride get in the way. You’ll become a better writer from it. Fast-forward a month and I’ve made it into the publication! I am over the moon about it and can’t wait to see the book published. So, here’s to second chances, and expert advice.

Unexpected Writing Inspiration

One of the main things that I love about writing is its unpredictability. You might have a set plan, and you may be productive in your routine for a while, but in the world of writing it doesn’t always work out that way.

I mainly write horror shorts when I sit down at my desk. However, this year I branched out a little and began to write a young adult fantasy novel. I was inspired by the writing community on social media, and had a few ideas about my own little bunch of budding heroes, traversing adolescence whilst dealing with their new powers. It was fun. It was exciting and, being someone who struggled through my own childhood with the X-Men permanently reminding me that it was okay to be different, it was relevant. So, 60,000 words in with only a few lingering chapter inserts, fillers, and a final edit remaining, it should be ready to roll on to the next stage. Only, it’s not happened that way. I’ve completely shelved it. I think about it often. I occasionally make an insert or an edit here and there, but I have lost that spark of inspired joy that I usually need to complete a project. This has left me with two options. One; slog on and finish it anyway. Or, two; leave it and move on to a new book. For me, these are both equally impossible without the right kind of inspiration. I didn’t know what I was going to do.

Then, this morning as I was walking to the supermarket in the sunshine, a song came on my iPod that I hadn’t heard in ages. It was Coheed and Cambria’s The Suffering, and I loved it. I stuck it on repeat, and pretty much listened to it constantly as I walked the length of St George’s Quay to town. A thought popped into my head: “The Suffering. That would be a cool title for a horror short.” As I walked the rest of the way, the story ideas began to flow. Once I had the title (thanks Coheed and Cambria!), the plot followed, and I knew that the story will be perfect to submit to the upcoming Horroraddicts.net ‘Dark Divinations’ Victorian horror submission call. And that wasn’t all, my friends! I realised that the short story would make a cool origins tale for a full-length horror story set in modern times. So, that’s what I’m going to do next. Get the Victorian short story locked down, then use it as the origins tale for a modern full length horror.

That’s not to say I’ll never return to my fantasy wip. I’ve put many hours into it after all, and I love the characters. But right now I guess it’s important to work on what feels right. Two beautiful things about writing, then. It’s ever-changing. Never set in stone. The possibilities are endless. And you can find sudden inspiration anywhere – even when you’re walking to the shops.

The Shortlist Paradox

After making a succession of short story anthology submissions this summer, the inevitable rejections have begun to slink into my inbox. It is a part of every writer’s world, so I am not complaining about the process. However, this last couple of weeks has had me musing over whether being notified that you have been shortlisted, only to be informed of rejection in the final cut, could be worse than not hearing anything at all until the axe falls.

Every submission comes with a ‘dare to dream’ moment or two. If it didn’t there would be no motive to submit in the first place! I usually submit with suppressed hopes, then put the publication completely out of my mind until I hear either way. Otherwise I find myself daydreaming about the possibilities. About what I would do if I got a yes. What would I post on social media? How would I tell my friends and family? Then the flutter of desire kicks in, and the potential for disappointment grows.

I had this recently with the latest SNAFU publication, Last Stand. As I mentioned in a previous blog, this publication was the anthology equivalent of the Holy Grail for me, as it will be introduced by the director Tim Miller. Marvel are a huge fixture in my household, so the potential to be linked to anything involving the Deadpool director was a huge draw. I crafted the story as best as I could. I looked back at previous hints and tips that the editors had provided, keen to tick every possible personal preference box on their list. Then, I hit ‘send’, locked the hopes and dreams in a little box in my brain marked “Do not open”, and went about my business. Then I heard the news that the story had made it through the first round of shortlisting. Wow. That was a buzz. The flame of possibility grew. I dared to dream a little bit. I was honoured that they liked my story, and repeatedly rationalised that at this stage, even if it was a ‘no’ in the end, I could be proud that it made it so far.

To my absolute shock and delight, I made it through the next round of cuts. At the beginning of that week, I had seen on the publication’s Facebook page that the next refusals were imminent, and I was convinced I would be amongst them. But I wasn’t. Double-wow. Could it possibly be? I started to get really excited. I talked about it with my friends, which is something I wouldn’t normally do unless I’d actually made it into the book. I’m cagey about my writing at the best of times, having always had a fear of the old ‘pride comes before a fall’ warnings. But this time, it couldn’t hurt to talk about it. It was a huge deal after all, and I clung to the fact that it was something of an accolade that the story had made it so far.

Well, come the final round of cuts. And a rejection letter. Albeit a very positive, constructive rejection letter, but a rejection nontheless. Wow again. But this time, a crushing, “Wow, I really thought I might have had that, there. Damn.” This was the moment that I started thinking about shortlist emails. They are always a joy, don’t get me wrong. And there was a point in my writing career when I would have chopped a hand off just to get one (possibly a counter-productive move – don’t judge me, I was a neurotic, fledgling writer!). But that moment of daring to dream a little bigger…The moment the “Do not open” sign gets torn off the hidden box in my brain that shows me visions of what I might do if I got the news that I’d been accepted. The moment when I let my daydreams wander to potential future opportunities that a yes decision may have brought. That kicks in as soon as the shortlist email comes in my inbox.

And, you know what? In the end, they ARE a good thing. Because it is that little boost that verifies that we’re on the right path. It’s the feedback from almost making the cut and being told exactly why we didn’t in the end that makes us better writers. That makes the next story an improvement on the last. It’s the step towards the next acceptance, because we’re always learning. The shortlist email, even if it makes the rejection a little more disappointing in the end, reminds us of why we do this. The rush. The thrill of the chase. The potential for that elusive ‘yes’.

So thank you to those editors who take the time to let us know when we’re through to the next round. And to those who let us down gently with constructive words when we don’t quite make the cut. We need thick skin in this industry, and at certain times for whatever reason, it’s not easy to remain positive. The shortlist reminds us that we’re almost there. Even if it’s a harder fall.

News of all kinds

I haven’t posted for a couple of weeks. The day after I wrote my last post, where the dog and I had taken a trip to the orchard and it had inspired me to write a poem, Shadow collapsed and had to be put to sleep. It has been strange here ever since. If I could describe how we were with each other, I’d say that when we were together we would constantly look to each other. When we were apart, I would constantly look forward to seeing him. He was just a constant. To not have that now is the hardest thing, because there are habits that grow with love that you don’t even know are there. Each time I face a new automatic habit and then remind myself that he isn’t there it’s heartbreaking. But, looking back at our photos and videos together, I know he was happy right to the end, and that is the most reassuring thing of all. He was a rescue dog, and taking him from the shelter five years ago was the best thing I ever did. I would encourage anyone who is considering getting a pet to please go to your local rescue shelter first and foremost. We couldn’t have had a better fit in our lives, even if we’d raised him ourselves.

In terms of writing, I have never been the type of writer who thrives in dark times. In fact, my muse tends to dry up completely. It was a huge effort to complete the poem, ‘The Tree That Ate the Children’, the week after Shaddy passed, and I managed to just meet the deadline for submission. I don’t know if it’s any good, but it was finished and submitted, and that was enough that week. I’m pleased to say I managed to write yesterday. There are a number of exciting horror submission calls for the end of July/start of August, and I really hope I can come up with some good gory tales!

One word of warning that I learned myself this week – final deadline dates don’t always stay the same. I’ve known them to be pushed to a later date before, but never cut off a few weeks early due to popularity! This has happened with Dragon’s Roost’s ‘Monsters in Space’ anthology. It was such a great brief and I am happy to hear that they have had a successful submission response. But I am definitely sad that I didn’t get a shot at taking part! Still, it has taught me a new writing lesson, which I’ll try to bear in mind in future: Submit early if you can. I always tend to plan my submissions based on final date. I really need to revise that method in future!

Finally, the truly wonderful news this week. I submitted to SNAFU’s Last Stand sub call last month, after reading the brief and falling in love with the concept. The fact that Tim Miller is providing the introduction really is the icing on the cake. To appear in the anthology that features the director of Deadpool would truly be a life-affirming moment in my writing. Not to mention the fact that my hubby rocks around in a Deadpool dressing gown in the evenings, and that we used to have a hamster called D-Piddy in honour of the merc with a mouth. Tim Miller aside, the anthology itself looks to be incredibly special, not surprising since it’s coming from Cohesion Press. On Saturday I received an email saying my story had made it to final deliberations! After such a difficult couple of weeks this news was well received to say the least. I don’t know if I’ll make the final cut, obviously, but it is a huge boost to know the dream is in touching distance. Here’s to dreams coming true, even in the worst weeks!