How to Build a Story Using a Set Theme

When I first began writing horror, I found it helpful to check lists of short story submission calls. The reason why this helped me when I was just starting out was because many of them provide you with a specific theme. Starting a story with a set direction can be extremely useful, but even with prompts I still found that I struggled to create a coherent narrative based around the given topic.

A turning point for me was when I learned about a couple of helpful writing exercises. The most useful of these was the spider diagram technique, but you can modify the basic idea and create lists, bullet points, free-write pages, or any other method that you may find more useful.

So, here’s how it works. Let’s say you want to write a horror and the theme is “summer”. You’d begin by writing “Summer” in the centre of the page, and start to build a diagram by taking the first few words that pop into your head related to the topic. You’d probably end up with a list of popular summertime terms, such as Beach, Holiday, Sunshine, Tan.

On your next round, you expand on the specific words you’ve initially picked. So, from the word “beach” you may have;

  • sand
  • sea
  • volleyball
  • sandcastles
  • crabs
  • shells
  • suntan lotion

Go around and around your main words, listing images, colours, sensations, tastes, textures – anything that links to those words.

Once you’ve built up a well-stocked word-bank you can refer to, go back to those original second layer words and begin to concentrate on the purpose of the story. The one in this example is a horror (shocker!) so what are some dark elements that we can introduce here? Already, there are a few ideas that spring to mind. What if a kid kicks a sandcastle on a beach, but there is something sinister living inside it? What if the suntan lotion you pick has a terrifying effect on your skin? What if an innocent game of volleyball turns into a fight to the death? These are just spit-ball ideas, but jot down whatever pops into your head. Don’t think of these ideas as the set storyline you have to follow as this can send you down the wrong path. Right now, we just need to explore our theme.

If you don’t write horror and are trying to think up a romance story, you might have very different choices in your word wheel: Sunsets, ice cream, walks on the beach, hearts in the sand… Of course, these too can be turned into a terrifying story if you want, but for the purpose of the exercise, I wanted to demonstrate that this works for all genres!

When you’ve settled on a story direction that really excites you, use a highlighter or simply circle the words you like that link most closely to the themes you’ve chosen. Be sure to include each of the words as you craft your narrative. By having tastes, sensations, colours, smells, and objects that directly link to the setting you are hoping to evoke for your reader close at hand, it reminds you to paint a more detailed picture and keep the clear theme throughout your story.

You may be worried about doing this exercise if you’re pressed for precious writing time, but believe me when I say it’s a time saver in the long-run! Having your word-wheel at the ready is clear progress, and beats staring at a blank page waiting for inspiration to strike. It also prevents the dreaded sensation of starting a story off-the-cuff with a blistering paragraph, only to falter halfway down the page when you lose momentum.

I encourage you to give it a try! Grab a sheet of paper, some coloured pens, and your favourite highlighters, and experiment. Here are some centre words to give you some inspiration if you can’t find any themed submissions:

FrostSubmarineShooting Star
TreehouseCircusExam
Use random word generators to create prompt lists of your own

Here are some of my favourite resources to find themed story submission requests*:

Authors Publish

Curiosity Never Killed the Writer

The Horror Tree

Publishing…and Other Forms of Insanity.

Good luck!

*Note that I’m not affiliated with any of these sites. I’ve just found them very useful in the past, and hope that you do, too.

An Unexpected Turn of Events

We are only halfway through April, but I am thrilled to say we have some news worth shouting about already!

The Suffering is #1!

Last Thursday, following a US promotion of the book, I was astonished to see The Suffering reach #1 in British Horror Fiction, Occult Horror, and Horror Suspense in the US Kindle chart. This was without doubt the stuff that dreams are made of! While I had hoped the promotion would give sales a boost, I never dreamed I’d see such an incredible result.

The Suffering at number 1 in 3 horror categories on Kindle US

What’s more, it peaked at #238 in the Kindle store rankings overall. I’m told that this is quite something for a debut novel, particularly when it comes to horror. I’m extremely grateful to everyone who picked up and read the book during the last week and helped to make this incredible moment happen. I’m also sending gratitude to the members of the Facebook group Books of Horror, who tirelessly shouted about the promotion and helped the book to become the success it has been. It’s a wonderful group, so if you enjoy writing or reading horror books (or both!), I recommend you head over to the BoH page and join today.

As of right now, The Suffering is still #1 British Horror Kindle book across the pond. I can’t believe my eyes every time I open the page and see that little orange banner with “Best Seller” written across it! I keep expecting it to drop away any moment, but it’s still holding strong. I’m hoping that it’s still clinging onto the top spot when I hit 100 reviews (it’s currently at 88 in the US) as that will be a screenshot I treasure forever!

The Suffering is #1 British Horror book in the US!

I’m loving every moment of this crazy turn of events, and can’t wait to see what happens next.

The Suffering Short Reading

To celebrate the promotion, Wicked House Publishing posted a short reading on the Facebook page. This was a lot of fun to do, and it was interesting polling my friends to see which scene they recommended I read! For those who have read the book, I decided to record the scene where Lisa Vaughan’s horde of sailors appears to Cassie in the swimming pool. This is a moment that seems to capture a lot of imaginations, and I had fun reading it out (the word “barnacles” is surprisingly fun to say!)

A reading from The Suffering is available to watch on Wicked House Publishing’s Facebook page

Wicked House Publishing have been extremely supportive during this time, and have been the true driving force behind the book’s success. I’ve had a few writers sliding into my DMs lately to ask if Wicked House is really as good as it seems. My answer every time is a resounding “YES!” If you have a completed manuscript in the horror, thriller, or young person horror genres, don’t hesitate to give the WH team a shot. They’ve literally made my dreams come true. And you can’t get better than that!

The Suffering Playlist

Here’s a list of songs that I was listening to a lot when I was writing The Suffering. I thought it might be fun to put them in a The Suffering Spotify playlist so you can listen as you read the book.

I’ve added some information about scenes or characters in the book below that I feel the songs relate to, so if you’ve read the book please let me know if you agree!

  1. Coheed and Cambria – The Suffering
  2. Kishi Bashi – This Must Be The Place
  3. Bloc Party – Flux
  4. Boston Manor – I Don’t Like People (& They Don’t Like Me)
  5. The Front Bottoms – Cough it Out
  6. Alkaline Trio – I, Pessimist
  7. Dog is Dead – Talk Through the Night
  8. Billy Talent – Devil in a Midnight Mass
  9. Atreyu – Falling Down
  10. Jimmy Eat World – Firefight
  11. Band of Horses – The Funeral
  12. Billy Idol – Running From the Ghost

Coheed and Cambria – The Suffering

Well, this one is obviously eponymous. When I started writing The Suffering back in 2019, I outlined the scenario of the original gathering in 1876 and the ghosts that appeared. For a while, I couldn’t come up with a title that fit. I knew I wanted it to be something grandiose, that could link both time periods to the Victorian massacre and the ghosts appearing to the students in 2016. Taking a breather one day, I took my dog for a walk in the local orchard with my headphones on. This song came on, and the rest is history!

Kishi Bashi – This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody)

I discovered Kishi Bashi’s version of This Must Be The Place when I was watching an episode of Titans. I loved the original (Talking Heads are the greatest!) but throwing an orchestra into the mix is really something else! I picture Lance listening to this as he cooks in chapter 7. When I (regularly) daydream about the book being made into a series, this song usually plays over the opening credits as the camera moves around the whole house. It gives me chills every time I think of it!

Bloc Party – Flux

I went back and forth over what song Cassie would put on the stereo during the party in chapter 4. I must have changed my mind at least 10 times (especially when I realised I’d picked songs that weren’t actually available in 2016!). I needed something at least a little rocky, since Cassie has a grunge rock taste, but also something that could be danced to at a party. Flux definitely fits the bill!

Boston Manor – I Don’t Like People (and they don’t like me)

I originally thought of Cassie for this song, but it could actually fit Cassie, Pete, Lance, Jonah AND Caleb, at various times in the book! What a contentious little bunch of characters they are! Last summer, I went to Download Festival and had the pleasure of discovering Boston Manor. While Laika is my favourite song of theirs (please check it out – it’s outstanding!), this song has a special place in my heart due to the sentiment and how it fits the characters. Also, Boston Manor are from Blackpool, UK. I lived in Blackpool until I was 6 years old, so I love that shared connection!

The Front Bottoms – Cough it Out

This is Martin’s song. Poor Martin. I absolutely adore this song, and the lyrics really make me feel for Martin when I put him in the singer’s shoes! For me, it really sums up his relationship with Cassie, and its futility. The chorus blows me away every time, and it’s another song I love to stick on my headphones when I’m walking in woods, surrounded by trees. I hope you love it as much as I do.

Alkaline Trio – I, Pessimist

This is a fighting song if ever I heard one. It always gets me pumped up, and it’s one of my all-time favourite songs. There’s a cameo by Tim McIlrath from Rise Against, and him singing with Dan Andriano is an absolute treat. For me, this is Kyle’s song. He’s unsure throughout the book, never knowing if he’s on the right track or if what he’s doing is right. But he sticks at it. Rightly or wrongly, that’s what this song will always convey to me. Go, Kyle!

Dog Is Dead – Talk Through the Night

“Me and my friends we’re gonna talk through the night”. Unsurprisingly, this is the student’s buddy song. It popped into my head whenever they have group talks or close moments where they try to solve the secrets of the house and the ghosts. I love the whole complicated network that comes with a group of university friends who are different in so many ways, but so close in others. This song has that wonderful vibe where everything is in its right place, and you know you’re with people you trust to get you through anything.

Billy Talent – Devil in a Midnight Mass

This is the soundtrack that pops into my head whenever Pile is terrorising Lance! Although he’s Hellfire Club rather than church-based, Pile is such a cocky ghost he needs a good driving song behind his antics. I’m going to finally get to see Billy Talent at the Slam Dunk festival this year and I can’t wait. I’m sure he’ll do this song and, if he does, I’ll be singing along and thinking of Anthony Pile and Lance!

Atreyu – Falling Down

Another of my all-time favourite songs in the world, Falling Down should be played while reading chapter 22, the build up to Pete’s visit to the museum and Connor Rourke’s attack. I love seeing Kyle in my mind heading down the road toward the museum as the verse is playing, then Pete on the precariously slippery walkway just as the epic final chorus kicks in. It’s perfect! And that bassline is the BEST.

Jimmy Eat World – Firefight

This is another song that gives me ‘buddy’ vibes, and I imagine it when they are all gathered at the house for chapter 26 and 27’s showdown preparation. The lyrics “It’s firefight…I won’t run!” are so perfect for the moment when the students are stood outside, knowing that there really is nowhere to go. And that, although they are terrified, they have to face the ghosts.

Band of Horses – The Funeral

This one’s kind of self-explanatory. The atmosphere and build up are so perfect for the dazed and confused moments after the ghost attacks and character deaths, where the students are coming to terms with being surrounded by loss. It’s a fascinating song, and I hear something new every time I listen to it.

Billy Idol – Running from the Ghost

I only discovered this song after the book was finished, but it is absolutely the perfect ‘end credit’ song. I first heard it on the Mark Hoppus After School Radio show, and knew immediately that it would make the best final song of The Suffering. Although Billy is singing about his addiction demons, it’s easy to equate the lyrics to a house full of tormenting ghouls. It also builds to a rip-roaring final chorus that gets me so pumped up. I will definitely be listening to this song when I sit down to write The Suffering 2!

If you’ve enjoyed this playlist, let me know! You can grab your copy of The Suffering on Kindle Unlimited, standard Kindle, and paperback from Amazon UK and Amazon US, Barnes & Noble, and other top retailers. Read along and listen to the music that inspired The Suffering with the Spotify playlist here.

March Book News

A month after publication of The Suffering, I have four bits of great news to share with you.

Beyond Radio

Last Friday, I was invited to Beyond Radio to chat about the book, my inspirations, and what started me on my path to all things horror. It was unreal to head down to the studio, settle myself behind the microphone, and start chatting to the lovely DJ, all while live on the radio! When I got the email from Greg Lambert asking if I’d like to come in and give an interview, I foolishly expected it to be pre-recorded. I mean, I am quite sweary in general, as all my friends can attest to! So I didn’t think there was any way I’d be unleashed on the general public without the chance to cut and edit accidental F-bombs. Thankfully, I managed to rein it in and, apart from a pause where my mouth almost said “then the shit hits the fan” when I was describing the ghost attacks, I got through it without even a hint of a cuss word. Phew!

Visiting Beyond Radio to chat about The Suffering

It was an incredible experience, and one in which I experienced the feeling of, “Yep. I could get used to this!” Hopefully the interview will be the first of many, as I had an absolute blast.

Books of Horror Author Smackdown

One of the main challenges I’m facing as a brand new author is swallowing down Imposter Syndrome. I think the more you put yourself out there, the more the “what if it doesn’t work out?” voice quietens. Because, if it doesn’t work out, who cares? At least you’ve thrown your hat in the ring. I’m trying to keep the phrase, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” at the forefront of my mind, to remind me that everything is worth a try, and there is nothing to lose. Thankfully, I had a burst of this mantra on Sunday night, when I was scrolling through one of my favourite Facebook groups, Books of Horror.

Last week, the admins announced that there would be an author showdown, where 32 books voted for by the group members will go head-to-head in a battle in September, giving everybody 6 months to read all the winning entrants in order to narrow it down to a winner. I knew what an incredible opportunity it would be to make it into the top 32 and have all participants read The Suffering. But, at first, the nagging voice was screaming in my subconscious: “As if you’d stand a chance! Don’t add your book to the potential list – people will laugh at you. Who do you think you are? You’ll not make it, then you’ll be disappointed, so why put yourself through it?” etc etc. But last Sunday, lying in bed and idling scrolling, I had a rush of the “Take a shot, who cares if you miss!” mentality. I added The Suffering to the list, with an apologetic disclaimer (“I know it’s only a month old so I don’t think many of you will know it, but what the hell!”).

I was blown away to see that I got 70 votes, and ended up making it into the ‘ring’ at number 31 of 32, out of 138 entries! So, no matter what that voice tells you, ignore it and take that shot. Making it into the Smackdown is huge exposure to horror-loving readers, and I couldn’t be more thrilled. Bring on September! Virtual boxing gloves at the ready…

The Suffering Giveaway!

Another fun thing this month is a competition I’m running on Instagram, to win a paperback copy of the book. I love entering book giveaways, and it’s been fun seeing likeminded people entering and hoping to win. The competition is open now and will run until this Friday (31st March 2023) at 4pm GMT. So, if you would like a shot at winning a paperback copy of The Suffering, head over to Instagram now! Just follow my page (mjmarsauthor), like the competition post, and tag a friend who loves to read horror. Good luck!

BookBub Deal

Finally, some more fantastic news for the book. I was accepted for a BookBub deal! This was insanely fortunate, as less than 20% of applicants manage to secure a deal. I nearly fell off my chair when I opened the email stating the offer. BookBub deals can lead to huge boosts in sales and exposure, so I couldn’t be happier about it. The deal will begin on 13th April, so I’m sure you’ll be hearing more about it in my April news update!

As you can see, March has been a whirlwind of fantastic news. But I’m only able to write about each thing because I managed to shut up the negative voice for a few minutes to make applications, blow my own tiny trumpet, and ask others to believe in The Suffering. If, like me, you’re plagued with self-doubt when it comes to your writing, I hope this news roundup has given you a bit of a nudge to take some of your own shots in the coming months. If you miss some, who cares? But the ones that actually land could change everything.

If you haven’t yet checked out The Suffering and would like to, it’s available on Kindle Unlimited, Kindle, and paperback from Amazon US, Amazon UK, Barnes & Noble, and other international online book retailers.

Writing Convincing Characters

I used to feel extremely daunted by the prospect of character creation. Making up a number of well-rounded individuals with realistic traits that can all be recognised for their differences as the story progresses is no mean feat!

One writing class I took a few years ago enlightened me to what I believe is the key to writing great characters: Conflict.

By conflict, I don’t mean that all your characters have to be rowing constantly, or that the only good books are set in the middle of a warzone. Conflict in a piece of writing can be far more subtle. To equate it to something more relatable, my tutor at the time liked to give examples of food analogies. So, consider the conflict of caramel and salt. They’re both great flavours in their own right, but put them together and it makes for an unexpectedly enhanced taste experience! That’s how you subtly but effectively build a believable bunch of conflicting (and often conflicted) characters.

To delve into this a little deeper, I’m going to discuss a few of the characters from my latest book, The Suffering, so I have to add in a spoiler alert! If you want to read The Suffering but haven’t yet got around to it, you may want to click out now! It’s available at Amazon US and UK in both Kindle Unlimited and standard Kindle format, as well as paperback at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other international online retailers including Saxo and Takealot if you are interested in choosing The Suffering as your next read.

Cassie

When I’ve been reading the book’s reviews, I’m amused to hear how some people love Cassie…while others don’t like her at all. Instead of feeling an internal rage for my ‘book child’ and jumping to her defence, this is exactly what I hoped would happen. From one of the first introductory scenes for Cassie, it’s made clear that she is a ‘Marmite’ type of girl, and it’s explained that she finds it particularly difficult to gel with most other women. She’s strong-willed and a little self-absorbed, and is quick to think the worst of others (before they think the worst of her!).

Martin & Tad

I had fun with a brief scene where Cassie’s best friend, Martin, is chastised by Tad. Tad is a dark and brooding type, who is also extremely handsome. Cassie and the other housemates don’t even notice Tad’s looks anymore, but Martin is painfully intimidated by him. As an environmental engineer, Tad takes the plight of the planet seriously, and isn’t impressed that Martin has brought take-away coffee cups into the house. It’s a silly, inconsequential kind of conflict, but I had fun with the contrast between Cassie not giving a damn what Tad thinks and Martin literally withering under his stare!

Pete, Gaia, and Jonah

Pete and Gaia have been dating for years, but Pete has always been jealous of the friendship Gaia has with Jonah. Pete is quiet and contemplative by nature, while Jonah is brash and loud. Jonah’s ability to make Gaia laugh is one of the main problems Pete has with him. The complete juxtaposition of personality types between the two boys was fun to write. As the ghostly oppression in the house builds, the strain on Pete and Gaia’s relationship grows, sending Gaia inevitably into Jonah’s open arms.

An excerpt from The Suffering

I picked these 3 examples because they hit on the main types of conflict you can use in your stories to build tension and create more believable characters as you world build.

  1. The ‘difficult’ character. Although Cassie can be a handful, and will push people away before they get the chance to hurt her, she also has plenty of redeeming character traits that complement her personality type. She’s tough and headstrong, and the other characters know where they stand with her. Her background gives insight into the reasons why she may have had to build a tough exterior. It works well to drop little breadcrumbs throughout the story, letting the reader gradually get to know them as the story progresses, instead of explaining everything in the first few chapters.
  2. The comic relief. These types of brief interactions are pretty easy to work into the narrative, but they can be extremely effective in giving the reader more of a sense of each character and the role they play. Martin is vulnerable here, abashed as he is by Tad. Poor Martin is soon to meet a sticky end in the story, and this scene helps to build sympathy for him. It’s only a couple of lines about a coffee cup, but it helps to establish Tad’s moral standing, Martin’s inhibitions, and Cassie’s indifference.
  3. The romantic conflict. Be it an arguing couple, a love triangle, or an unrequited adoration, romantic conflict can always add a little flair to your character’s worlds. However the situation may end, the tension between the characters can be exciting to explore, and fun for the reader as the story unravels.

Of course, the main conflict in the book comes from the 5 monstrous ghosts attacking each of the students, but that’s not the type of conflict I want to discuss here. There are 2 main definitions of conflict in the dictionary:

1, Noun. A serious disagreement or argument, typically a protracted one.

2, Verb. To be incompatible or at a variance; clash.

Oxford Languages

When writing convincing characters in their domestic settings, focus on the second definition. What are some small clashes or conflicts that you can sprinkle into your chapters as you build your characters? And when I say ‘domestic setting’, this is just referring to your characters’ day-to-day lives. Whether that’s trudging to and from school or work, or navigating to a distant planet in a futuristic rocket ship, mundane conflicts can make all the difference.

Creativity is piercing the mundane to find the marvellous.

Bill Moyers

Querying in the ‘Dead Month’

Making mistakes is all part of the process. In every walk of life. And it’s just been brought to my attention that I started querying The Suffering at the worst possible time. In the world of literary agencies, August is dubbed “The Dead Month”. It’s a month where nothing gets picked up. Where the few foolhardy authors who don’t know about this are likely to immediately hit the deleted pile, where their hopeful submission will be lost in the ether.

I didn’t take this into consideration when I sent my query emails to my first three choices in August, but that’s how the chips have fallen. I was so happy to have finally finished the book, I didn’t even stop to consider whether the time of year might be a factor. Was that stupid? Is this something everyone knows, except me?! I mean, when you’re going through the process of writing a manuscript, there are so many industry secrets and hints to learn, some things get left by the wayside. This just happens to be a potential biggie.

But hey, you never know, perhaps one of the agents I submitted to likes to work in August, when it’s quiet? Perhaps it’s a benefit that every other writer except me knows not to query in August, because there’s bound to have been less competition, right? I’ll keep telling myself that to feel better about it.

Plus, I can console myself that perhaps my top choice agents would have loved my submission…if only I’d sent it during a month when they actively review queries. That if I hear nothing back from them it’s simply that it slipped through the August cracks, and isn’t a reflection on how successful The Suffering might be…

I’m smiling as I write this, because it is so typical of how things work out. And I’m constantly trying to put a positive spin on any negatives in the process and prevent my nagging brain from convincing me that this is a dumb endeavour that will get me nowhere. Because that’s not how we roll around here. We have to keep pushing to make our dream a reality.

When people say, “If you don’t believe in yourself, how will anyone else believe in you?” it makes me cringe inside because my internal monologue is a savage. It berates me on the regular, especially when it comes to writing. When we make these stupid mistakes that add extra fuel to the fire of the internal monster inside us, we have to find a way to shake it off and continue. So I’m laughing about it. I fucked up, potentially, but it’s okay.

There are plenty more submissions to come. And hey, it’s September now, you guys! This month, there’s a good chance someone’s actually gonna read it…

Which part isn’t the hard part?!

I haven’t posted on here for almost a year now, a fact that has kind of been weighing on me (and my auntie Elaine, who keeps reminding me – hey Elaine!!). But I completely threw myself into finishing The Suffering ready for querying, so that’s what took up all of my free time. I didn’t have anything else to say. But now the book is complete, the querying has begun, and I can breathe a big sigh of relief at having some time to do other things.

I checked the properties when I finished the wip and couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw I’d spent 2,300+ hours on writing, editing, editing, editing a little more…and just a smidge more editing. It seems like a ridiculous number. A huge mistake. If someone had asked me how long it had taken me to write it I might have shrugged and took a stab, “I dunno…a hundred hours, maybe?” – feeling like an overly-dramatic sensationalist at that.

So this is why I felt like I never had time for other things (or…ahem…people). This is why every time I tried to relax and play games or watch a movie I had an annoying voice in the back of my mind reminding me that I had far more important things that needed to be done. And once I’d finally drawn the line and decided that I had to quit the endless editing process for fear of removing any ounce of my own personal writing style, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off me.

I’ve taken a few of weeks away from writing after sending the book out to my first and second agency choices, and the break has been fun. It’s strange not to have characters and scenes jostling for brain-space at all times of the day. My baths have been spent relaxing in bubbles, not leaping out and pattering wet footprints down the stairs in search of a notebook halfway through when an idea pops into my head. On my walks down the local quay I can now stick a headphone in and listen to music, not having to worry about drowning out a potential plot twist or character arc that may come to mind.

I’m starting to feel the urge to write again, returning to the Calls for Submissions pages and contemplating new horror short anthologies. I’ve missed the rush of writing to a set theme and waiting to hear if my story might just be good enough to make it in. That too went on the back-burner, and for the last year I haven’t submitted a single short. I’m excited to see what’s to come.

But I’m also feeling the anxious little pangs every time I check my writer’s email. The dread of the upcoming rejections by my prospective list of dream agents. It’s part of the process, of course. I don’t think there’s been a writer in history who was snapped up on their first attempt at representation (well, perhaps there have been a lucky few, but I’m positive it’s a rare occurrence).

So, writing the book was hard. Being away from all of my old favourite additional activities, writing-related or otherwise, was a bind. But it’s done with, at least for now. At least until that magical offer of a 3-book deal comes sliding into my emails. Until then, I’m going to enjoy my little blog posts (when I can actually think of something to say!). I’ll get excited about sending out various shorts and writing to set anthology themes in the hope they get accepted.

But, if that deal does come about I’ll be dropping everything again in a heartbeat! Another 2,300 hours to write a sequel – count me in! It’s a crazy dream. It’s almost impossible to find time. It’s ALL the hard part. But it’s worth every second. All 8280000 of them.

Dumb things to do during lockdown

I don’t know about you, but lockdown has really made me wish I’d done more with my life. And I’m not talking about writing (it goes without saying – I ALWAYS wish I’d done more there), but dumb little things that have always bugged me. Things that I should have learned when I was a kid, but never got around to doing. Or, more likely, was too self-conscious back then to really stick at it and learn.

It started back in June, when a couple of my friends decided to set health related goals for the month. We pored over running medal sites and signed up to challenges, stuck Yoga with Adriene on three times a week, and happily accepted the 25 press-ups for 25 day Facebook challenges. Then July hit and I chose something a little different…

The Keepie-uppie challenge

I’ve always been jealous of people who can churn out endless keepie-uppies (a quick explanation, in case you need it – keepie-ups is juggling a football with your feet). I was a tom-boy as a kid, but my crippling social embarrassment prevented me from ever learning anything remotely tricky and physical. I always had the mindset that if I couldn’t do it within three tries, I was embarrassing and useless and should forget the whole thing. So, I decided that my July challenge was going to be learn how to keepie-up, finishing the month with masterful round-the-worlds and catching the ball on the back of my neck. Simple, right?

Oh holy fuck, I was so, so wrong. Out of everything I’ve done in the last couple of months – scratch that – my entire life, keepie-uppies are without doubt the hardest; not to mention my August challenge was to learn to skateboard to ollie (more on that later…). I got off to a rough start with the football, I have to say. I ordered a training strap and a ball (allegedly) from Amazon at the start of July. Only, I didn’t read the fine print and all that came was the strap. Pretty useless without a ball, my friends. Then, I had to wait three weeks for the ball to be delivered. And when it arrived it was flat, of course. Guess who didn’t have a pump?! So, as you can see, the universe did not want me to learn how to juggle a football in July 2020. But that didn’t matter, did it? Surely I only needed a week of practice to get a stupid ball to pop from one foot to the other? My God. Long story short, it’s the end of August, so I’ve been practising hard for about five weeks now. This week I managed to juggle three in a row, and have managed to go from foot to foot a handful of times. It took me two weeks to manage to get my foot in the right position so the ball didn’t just trickle away. In my defence, I only have size 3 feet, so I’m sure that doesn’t help, right? Anyway, when it came time to announce August goals I was feeling pretty disheartened. But, in the spirit of overcoming childhood insecurities and learning the things I’d always wanted to pick up as a kid, I set my challenge and bought my gear…

Skate to ollie

Okay, so this was ambitious. But, I’ve always loved skateboarding. I’ve played hours of the Tony Hawk games, watched endless X-Games and Tampa Pro clips, and daydreamed about skating down the boardwalk at Venice Beach. I should have picked up a board as a kid and just gone for it, but again my stupid brain decided falling was too embarrassing and so I never stuck with it. August came and I ordered my pads and helmet. Got a nifty little TH Pro board and some new DC skate shoes. I was ready.

You know what, it’s been going pretty well! I managed to get the basic skate down quicker than I expected, and moved on to kickturns. That ended pretty messily when I didn’t realise my elbow pad had ridden up, as you can see in the pic, but hey – it’s all part of the skate process. Last week we went out and learned ollies in the grass and a slow-mo video proved that I managed to lift all four wheels up on my last few ollies. Haven’t taken it to the pavement yet, and I’m not exactly hurtling into the SLS 9 club, but I’ve got the steps down at least. So yeah, for me, skateboarding is easier than juggling a frickin’ football. Slightly more bloody and painful, but hey, it goes with the territory.

A qualification in…monsters?!

That’s right, my friends. I now have a Cryptozoology Diploma. I have loved all things monster since I was a kid. I’ve trekked to Loch Ness (a twelve-hour round trip on a raging hangover), I’ve got Bob Gimlin’s autograph, I have a wall of sea monster maps and monster pics, and shelves full of books on the subject. And now, bringing my level of nerd to soaring heights, I have my diploma.

It’s not that I believe that all monsters are real. I get the science, and I know the chances are pretty slim. I think the reason I love the idea of real monsters so much is that it gives me that rush that I had as a kid, thinking about Santa coming. I remember staring out of my bedroom window, watching the rooftops for reindeer and wishing harder than I’ve ever wished for anything that I could see him. Sadly, I didn’t get that feeling for long – I found out about Santa on Christmas day when I was six years old. (Full disclosure, I snuck a look at the presents my mum was keeping in her wardrobe and when I opened the one I’d looked at on Christmas morning, it was labelled “From Santa”. Talk about instant karma). I think I’ve been chasing the high ever since then. But that is certainly another dumb thing I’ve done in lockdown. It makes me laugh just looking at it. But, it’s mine and I stand by it.

Other than that, my goals have been writing related, so they can’t really fall into the ‘dumb’ category. I’ve finished the first draft of The Suffering, and started first edit (bring alcohol). I recorded a reading of one of my stories for the Horrorgasm Convention, so I’m hoping that will get accepted and go live in October. Now that The Suffering first draft is finished as of last week I’ve started sending shorts out again and have already sold to The Dread Machine, so that’s a really nice boost after so long without submitting.

Long story short, I recommend a bit of goal-setting, particularly if it involves learning something you always wanted to know, but never got around to for whatever reason. I guess with learning footy and skate, I’m sticking a big two fingers up at my old insecurities, and proving to myself that I can do it. It’s never too late. It’s almost time to set our September goals. I guess I always wanted to learn a really cool magic trick…what do you think?!

Writing During Lockdown

How are you all doing? It’s a difficult question at the moment, I know. Albert Einstein once said, “In the midst of every crisis, lies great opportunity,” and for creatives and writers around the globe, lockdown has given many of us the opportunity to claw back a little time and focus on what we truly love. This is easier said than done, however.

After spending most of March and April indulging in bad habits and embracing the hedonistic disorganisation that the potential of impending doom can bring, I decided to set myself some serious goals for May. It was the only way I was going to break out of the “fuck it – lets drink endless glasses of wine and watch movies, the world has gone to hell in a handbasket” mindset. Don’t get me wrong, I had kind of enjoyed it. Those who know me recognise that I am very laid back when it comes to everybody else. But when it comes to myself I am the quintessential control freak. Having a well-earned rest from this taxing personality trait for a while was kind of rewarding in its own way. The pre-lockdown me would never have been in pyjamas at 3pm, nursing last night’s hangover while slyly checking the clock to see if it might possibly be acceptable to open the wine again. Old me would not have let a couple of weeks of no writing pass by without having an internal meltdown at the fact that time was ticking and I still hadn’t published the best-selling novel that’s most definitely going to be adapted into film yet. Think about it – if I wasn’t so lazy I could have been schmoozing at the premier by now, right?!! Wrong, of course. Things will run their course and happen when the time is right. Having dreams and goals is a positive thing, naturally. But that positive turns into a negative when you use those dreams to berate yourself when you take a little break from the treadmill. And, goodness knows, when the pandemic hit we all needed a bit of a break.

So, on Sunday, May 3rd I was sat in my pyjamas, nursing yet another hangover and thinking about how nice it would be to get things back on track. Coincidentally, two of my friends on a group chat chose that day to make similar choices, deciding that May would be the month to ditch the take-aways, exercise regularly, and fit back into those old pre-lockdown pants. Without their messages that coincidentally fell on the same day, I don’t know if I would have set my goals and stuck to them. We decided to have a weekly check-in with each other, and to message if we felt we were having a wobble and were liable to reach for the sugar/alcohol/insert bad habit of your choice. Having a sounding board certainly made the tasks seem attainable, so I would definitely recommend asking a friend to virtually spot you if you wish to do something similar in the coming weeks.

Along with the general healthier lifestyle goal I chose a few writing targets. I am dreadful for having unfinished projects lying around the house in various digital and paper formats. I almost finish a book, having spent months obsessing over every character and plot arc, only to lose interest at the point of editing, ditch it and start something shiny and new. My novel writing process is the embodiment of the meme where the guy turns to look at a passer-by who is pretty much identical to the outraged girl already on his arm.

In order to jump-start my interest in old almost-finished projects, I had a nosey at the upcoming unsolicited submission calls. I selected two that fit a couple of my long-forgotten WIPs and spent some time polishing and refining them ready for the submission dates. As of today, I have a drama script waiting for perusal by Screencraft, and the first three chapters of a fantasy book in the pile of entries to an agency’s Young Adult fiction competition. These projects steer away from my usual horror writing, but they are still just as valid and exciting in their potential, and it was helpful to remind myself of that. Naturally, my main goal is to finish the first rough draft of my horror book by the end of May. For me, this means having every chapter complete in some form, even if some of them will need fleshing out or trimming down in the editing stage. I can spend the last two weeks of May scaring myself silly writing the last few chapters of the first draft, and I’m very much looking forward to it.

As for June, who knows? I might revert back into a pyjama-wearing, wine-guzzling layabout. But May has been a good month, and it’s all thanks to goal-setting with a couple of pals who’ve got my back. As we keep messaging each other on wobble days:

#wegotthis.

Humour in Horror Writing

Well, you guys, it’s been a while. And how things have changed since I last uploaded a blog post. I hope you are all keeping safe and managing through these bizarre times.

Lockdown has given me invaluable time in front of the computer screen working on my horror novel. It got me to thinking about the relationship between humour and horror, and about how the two tend to meet. It’s a fine balance – make horror too funny and it seems silly and loses its tension. Make horror too serious and, for me, it loses an edge that a well-crafted story with elements of both will undoubtedly demonstrate.

Some of my writing heroes excel at this technique. The League of Gentlemen (Reece Shearsmith, Mark Gatiss, Steve Pemberton, and Jeremy Dyson), inspired me when I was a school kid. Their eponymous television show was like nothing I had ever seen before. Their skill at writing comedy immersed in horror, full of sympathetic characters and humanistic struggles, has stayed with me ever since. Pemberton and Shearsmith’s Inside No.9 continues to surprise me, a television experience that my husband pointed out is no mean feat! When chatting about the show to a work colleague, he stated, “It’s the only TV show that ever surprises MJ. Because she’s a writer, she always guesses what’s going to happen or what the twist in a show will be. With Inside No.9, she’s always just as surprised as the rest of us, so she actually gets to enjoy it!” I hadn’t thought about it until he pointed it out, but it’s so true!

And that’s what you can do with horror. Truly take people by surprise and thrill them, more than any other genre. It’s something that I am trying to focus on as I push on through this novel, working on balancing truly fiendish characters and events with personable humour and empathy. I am trying to learn from the masters – after all, I have been following them for about 25 years now.

The horror/humour balance can never be more topical than at a time of crisis. It’s important to laugh, even when the world around us seems to be falling apart. And it’s okay to find humour in the madness. In fact, there is nothing more human.

Stay safe my friends, and seek out a little humour where you can.